There are entire days I don't know where I've been. Convinced the abandoned don't know about being lost, only know about being forgotten.
But surely they are the true immortals.
For as long as we remember that we can forget
that the only constant is the presence of the unknown
the absence outlives us all.
Small comfort that brings. Sarcasm,
dripping off me thick and deceptive honey, blurs the blinding emptiness. Until I can believe beyond where I can see, my mortality is the only reality, regal as the desert night and more alone.
A nothing not even the heartiest of rockeaters can devour.
When the nothing is everything
When the lost is forever
When I hate being the only one in the world
Where the reflection is missing and who I am dissolves from who you want me to be
is when I know I'm alive. Je pense
I don't know how to answer questions with the responses that could be true. All I can do is continue performing, though no one warned me I wouldn't get a single rehearsal. No one warned me I was auditioning for the role.
Not one raised an eyebrow I'm sorry, closed set.
So now, I say my lines to the script memorized long ago. The motions are predestined. My eyes squint, blind lighthouses scanning the stage for an exit sign knowing full well I can't leave until after the curtain call.
If you see me beneath this costume, under this spell, please. please
grab my hand
Persephone
pull me beyond the fourth wall caging me in
take me to a place I recall from a dream
remember me
Calliope
let my immortality exist in your mind for the person I am. Not the one you can't remember to not forget.
I don't know how I got here or if I'm allowed to leave.
