granulated

nonpareil \nahn-puh-REL\ adjective: having no equal 

This emptiness is nonpareil. Every pebble I find to toss into chasm becomes dust in the valley. For a brief moment it's as if that small seed will complete me, fill me, but after the adrenaline wears off, I'm still empty. 

chained in the dungeon

dudgeon \DUJ-un\ noun: a fit or state of indignation 

I'd complain that your advances are leaving me in high dudgeon, but I'm enjoying the torture far too much. 

stunted

efflorescence \ef-luh-RESS-unss\ noun1 a : the action or process of developing and unfolding as if coming into flower b : an instance of such development c : fullness of manifestation : culmination 2 : the period or state of flowering 3 : the process or product of efflorescing chemically 

Most days I wonder if we all get a period of efflorescence. Or if maybe I just wasn't dealt that card. 

Could it be there were extra jokers in my deck?