world pain

weltschmerz \VELT-shmairts\

noun, often capitalized
1 : mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state 2 : a mood of sentimental sadness

As the world is doused in tons of cold correctional fluid, I find myself in a state of Weltschmerz, missing my CSA and the ability to leave the house without losing toes.

misquoted

darling \DAHR-ling\

noun
1 : a dearly loved person 2 : favorite

Honestly, my darling, I don't give a fig.

puffy fussy

fustian \FUSS-chun\

noun
1 : a strong cotton and linen fabric 2 : high-flown or affected writing or speech; broadly : anything high-flown or affected in style

I greatly anticipate spring and a switch to fustian jackets from these oppressive down overcoats.

repel pellets

graupel \GROU-pul\

noun: granular snow

Such an inappropriate word for the day's weather. I'm certainly not ungrateful - the clouds can keep all the graupel, hail, sleet, and snow they'd like.

sequins and shit

ostensible \ah-STEN-suh-bul\

adjective
1 : intended for display : open to view 2 : being such in appearance : plausible rather than demonstrably true or real

The ostensible purpose for the ostrich's plumage is to attract a flashy mate, but he was actually an asexual Elvis impersonating bird that found a Bedazzler for cheap on Craigslist.

stamp it out

xylography \zye-LAH-gruh-fee\

noun: the art of making engravings on wood especially for printing

Though I always preferred working with linoleum, I'm sure there are some prints made by way of xylography at my new office.